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ASHA Thank You Letter to My Saddlebred: I’m W.O. Bentley

Howie Photo of Nick and Kathie presenting flag at American Royal in side saddle

Dearest Nick, Nickie-baba, Nikolai Bobolinski Dude, Nickle Bickle Pickle - aka I'm W.O. Bentley,

I've finally worked up the courage to write this ... with tears pouring down my face. 

There is a story of the little girl who is found on the beach picking up star fish and throwing them back in the sea. When asked why she is doing this, she tells the person that while she can't make a difference for all of them? She can make a difference for one.

In a turn around, I'd like to tell you the difference one horse made for me. In the Nick of Time registered as I'm W.O. Bentley, better known as Nick to all of us, went through Mike's Auction in Corona, CA on Halloween. He was bought by a broker and went to the feedlot. Gail Gleeson from True Innocents Equine Rescue (TIER) found him, and somehow, while I wasn't looking for a horse, he reached out via the Internet and found me. I was a one horse owner the previous week ... and that same day, I bought a coming two year old prospect (now a multi-titled horse of the year and national champion, but this isn't her story), and, we rescued Nick. 

Osteen Photo of Nick and Kathie making a victory pass in the parade division

Had I not done that? I would have not learned what it is to fight for a horse's birthright and their papers. I wouldn't understand. I would not have been placed on the ASHA Equine Welfare Advocacy Committee. I would not have been named the chair. I would not have met people in the Saddlebred world so far out of my "status" that it would be inconceivable for me to call them friends. I would not have been involved in seizures and rescues of Saddlebreds across the United States. I would not have lobbied for years to get ALL Saddlebreds, no matter the discipline, recognized with the very highest permanent achievement of being a designated breed champion. My committee would not have been named by EQUUS and the United States Equestrian Federation as Humanitarian of the Year. And all because of a horse ... a gift of so many memories, and in his final moments? He gave us a final gift of leaving us in grace and dignity. This is his final story.

For many reasons, Nick had returned to TIER for his retirement home. I happily sponsored him and he quickly became beloved by both staff and other horses. Whenever I would visit, he would happily come right up to me for a quick love and then turn tail, snort, and with all his Saddlebred elegance proceed to bounce off to show me all his friends.

Casey McBride Photo of Nick showing his good nature in Leadline

On Sunday, March 3rd, 2019, I got a call from Gail. It was a call we had dreaded. Nick had never had really strong hind quarters and we had held our collective breath for the last ten years whenever he got up. Gail called to tell me that on a blustery, wind-bitingly cold and stormy day that he had been down for a number of hours and he wasn't getting up. I think she was surprised that we were in California and not our new Colorado home, but once she knew we were on our way, she immediately went back out to tell him that "mom is coming." 

I grabbed my husband and as he drove, I started texting Nick's legion of two legged fans. Somehow, we all knew and the tributes poured in as to how very much he was loved. To hug him, kiss him and let him know. From Bob, Rachael, Izzy, Missy, Caitlin, Debbie and on and on. 

When we got there, we were met by the vet. Kind that she was, she was new to TIER (the regular vets were tied up). She firmly believed that "if" we could get him up, he would be fine. I informed her that Nick lived for others ... not for himself, and that this would only be repeated. However, I did gain agreement that if she would be patient? I would ask Nick just once, and whatever his answer was? We would respect that. 

Nick and Bob Ruxer presenting flag at American Royal Nick was in his corral. Down in the mud. Gail had amazingly managed to get him blanketed and he was quietly munching hay. But his eyes were stressed. He saw me and whuffled lightly as if to apologize that he wasn't standing. I sat next to him and curled up in his chest feeding him carrots and apples and reading the texts / paraphrasing the calls. I told him how very, very, very much he was loved. 

After a very short time, he looked at me and I knew it was time to try. I moved away from him and just mentally asked him to get up. He sighed and you could tell he was summoning strength. And then he tried. Heartbreakingly and repeatedly, he tried. But his hindquarters could no longer support him and he collapsed and laid his head in my lap and actively began dying.

By then, the vet was crying at the pure, unadulterated display of love he had provided us with. I called for the shot, and even though he was minutes away on his own, we gave it to him. The only time he had any fear was momentarily as the drug hit his heart and he lifted his head, startled. I told him it was only to help and that it was ok to go. He again sighed, closed his eyes (yes, horse people, he died with closed eyes), and I felt the weight of his head as his life on earth stopped. 

Nick patiently being a breed ambassador and educational assistant 

Dang. Sobbing break here. OK. But, the story isn't done. Did I mention cold and stormy? After the moments with Nick - where the vet just stood there shaking her head in wonder, we were faced with the reality of what to do with a 16.2 equine body in So Cal (he was cremated and is now here with me in CO). As we were standing there, my very non-spiritual husband was the first to notice. He said ... "what are the horses doing?" Gail has over 40 horses on her property and as we looked around, they were all standing at attention, looking east. No munching, no movement, just standing silently. Then? The air and rain got warm - and I mean tropical warm. The sun came out and I started asking, "where is the rainbow?" Sure enough one of Gail's neighbors caught the rainbow on camera. We all just stood there and absorbed it and Gail observed, "there he goes." Shortly thereafter, the cold returned. The sun and rainbow disappeared, and the horses went back to being horses. 

While incredibly sad, it is one of the most singularly beautiful memories in my life. You see, Nick had one last gift for me, personally. I always thought he was my mom's horse. And he was so ecumenical in his love for all, that I didn't realize until that moment and Gail turning and looking at me ... "he loved everyone, but he was *in love* with you." 

Nick was my star fish, and I was his.  Thank you, Nick, for all the Kodak memories of your life.

Kathie

Kathie Dunn Jacobsen is a lifelong American Saddlebred lover, many time ASHA Breed Ambassador World Champion award winner, and current chair of the ASHA Equine Welfare Advocacy Committee. For many years, she split her time between southern California and Colorado. Most recently she has moved to Colorado full time and does amazing things to #sharethesaddlebred in weddings, movies, and more that take place at her La Joya Dulce property.